Wednesday, February 25, 2009

May the Dear Lord Bless You



That's sort of what I was asking for... though I suddenly regret asking for it. In fact, looking at this picture now, I regret a lot of things: being born with eyes, owning a computer, dogs, staying up past my bedtime, birthdays... this list goes on...





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Monday, February 23, 2009

Needs More Tits

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Really, if you're already shooting past the average human number of tits (two, typically) on your sword massaging she-goat, why not just go crazy? Why not 8 or 16? Or, fuck, how about 9 just going around in a circle or stacked like a pyramid? That would be awesome!

Or maybe you're only trying to match your two sets of milkers to the two different sets of horns on her head (one for ramming small animals, one for... chains..?). In which case just ignore me. Carry on.





Wait, wait. No. Fuck all that noise! I want more titties, hot dammit!!!!




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The "Magic Wand" Tool: Not Actually "Magic"

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Whoa, what the fuck does he have in his undies?


From the looks of his giant, green, slimey gloved hand and sly little smile I'd guess he just finished fisting Robin, so it almost works out. But still, dude's got like 2 boners and 5 nuts jammed in there.




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Thursday, February 12, 2009

"Snikt!"

That's the sound that Wolverine's claws make when they come out, right?

Wrong. That's the sound of my adamantium-hard boner springing into action.

Today you get a lesson - a new term: yaoi. According to Wikipedia, "Yaoi is a popular term for fictional media that focuses on homosexual male relationships." Basically gay fan/fantasy art.

This is awesome because whenever you're reading your comic books or watching your Akiras and thinking "Man, those dudes totally need to get it on," you just pull out your Crayolas or your Photoshop and go fuckin' crazy!

Like this:


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I know, right?! Whenever I saw Wolverine and Sabertooth running around trying to chop each others' heads off, I'd be thinking "Why don't they just fuck and get it over with?" Now look at 'em go! Just lickin' each others' faces like little kitties. And what's not hot about that big blobish blond tuft floating around on Sabertooth's heinie? So much man hair...

When they do it, it's gonna smell like a steamy pet shop.

Thanks, guy-who-drew-this!




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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

We do everything on porpoise!

If Brad Pitt were a dolphin, and still went on to meet, fall in love, and have biological babies with Angelina Jolie, this is what it would look like:



Fuckin' beautiful. Just breathtaking. Look at you laying there, you gorgeous dolphin man. Half bottlenose dolphin, half bottle-cocked human, all 100% sexy!

Did you ever see the videos of dolphins playing with bubble rings?

Think about that, then think about this guy...

Now think about baseball or something and get back to work before you get yourself in trouble.



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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Why So Queerious?



No... C'mon. That doesn't happen.


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Robot Lipstick



Yeah! Transformers doin' it!! Now that's hot!
I'm not sure how it works exactly. I mean, last I checked, my car didn't have a penis. And I don't think Truck Nuts really count. But then, my car doesn't transform into an ass-kickin', pussy-slammin' super awesome robot either. At least as far as I know...
But that shouldn't stop us from imagining the possibilities of hot, hetero giant robot sex! I like to think that it sounds like a GM Powertrain plant:





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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Is That a Gun Pointed At Me, or Are You a Transformer?



Did you know that Transformers can fall in love? I bet you didn't even know that there was a difference between boy Transformers and girl Transformers. Well there is. You know how you can tell? Girl Transformers are pink.
So what we're looking at here, obviously, is the leader bad guy getting gay with the jet guy. And that's ok! I just never would've thought... It just puts a spookier twist on everything. Like how the tall bad guy in 300 was super gay. That was spooky!
Does that make me a homophobe?

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