Showing posts with label furry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label furry. Show all posts
Monday, April 13, 2009

The Case of Boner v. Eyeballs




The perspective on this kind of makes my eyes want to jump out of my skull in front of a speeding minivan, but my aspiring boner is all, "Fuck you, eyes! You're not going anywhere - you can almost see the labia on the one on the right! Don't make me come up there!"





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Friday, April 10, 2009

The Circle of Awesome!

I was sitting around earlier, playing with my balls and wondering, "What would Fail Out Boy's Pete Wentz look like if he were a lion cub in Disney's The Lion King?"






Wow! Thanks, Internet!! LOL!!



Oh, and fuck me upside down! Here he is in all three Ds!!! Score!









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Blow Me (Up)





Alright, any one of us would be lying if we said we'd never tried to fuck a balloon. That's a given. Some of us get stuck on that for a long time though. Just like how some people can take a few hits of the pot, have a good time, then walk away, while others will go out and buy pot leaf posters, hockey jerseys, and decals for their GrandAm and make it their life, some people will want to marry balloons and/or inflate everything they see...







And then sometimes this happens, even though I kind of wish it didn't...







I think I'm supposed to LOL at this one, but... I don't know, man. I just can't.





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Friday, April 3, 2009

Blue Man Groupies




Aaaaaahahahaha!!! It's that guy! From the movie that's out!! And he's all "Hey! I'm the real Blue Man! You guys better scram!" And they don't even comprehend. 'Cuz they're Blue Men, and they only understand shooting ping pong balls out of PVC tubing! OMG, that's so genius! I just ROFLed so hard I puked!




Also, furries love the Blue Man Group:













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Monday, March 30, 2009

Either My Water Broke Or I Just Blew a Load

You know what the best part about furries are? Most of them don't stop there. People in fursuits? That's cool. Awesome drawings of animal people. Sweet. But that shit's just the tip of the iceberg...




Pregnant male furry fetishists...? FUCK! YEAH!

This is awesome!! There's a whole website of people who are into this... I feel like I've finally found my home. I never could have imagined anything awesomer than a pregnant raccoon man. And look, his little bundle of joy is kicking!

How did he get pregnant, you ask? You're a fuckin' idiot and your question pisses me off. That's why God invented Photoshop. Same way I can paste your mom's face on Gisele Bundchen's body. I know her milk bags don't hang like that anymore, but you can't stop me from thinking about it - and then making a picture of it and posting it all over the internets.

And now I'm thinking, how much cooler would Junior have been? Um, about this much cooler...










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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Slaya/Playa




Oh, yeah! Go for it, you lucky sonuvabitch!!

Man, I wish I lived in medieval times with the dragons. I'd be the King of Dragon Slayers. And by 'slayer,' I mean one who makes dragon bitches cum fucking rivers all the fuck over the great virgin land.



Yeah, I'd "slay" that shit alright.






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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Take My Furginity




Mark 10:6-8 (King James Version):

6But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

When God said all that stuff about marriage and two becoming one, He explicitly meant a man and a woman, not biped fox people. Furthermore, when God sent his only Son down to Planet Earth to die for our sins, he didn't send a fox. He sent a person: Human Jesus.

So you can throw all the promise rings at each other that you want, it doesn't matter. 'Waiting' won't get you into heaven. You don't see fursuited fox nuns walking around claiming to be married to Furry Jesus. So go ahead and have some whorish furry fun - 'cuz God doesn't give a shit about how "pure" fox people might be... Not my God.









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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Lycanthrob




I was drinking at this Moroccan joint one night where there was a belly dancer performing. I was enjoying the show until I noticed her dark happy trail; like a gorilla's arm struggling to pull her bellybutton back into her skirt.

Immediately I thought, "Eww, gross", but then I realized I was already halfway to Bonertown on the PreCum Express. I had to confess that maybe I kind of liked it...

So you can imagine why now, my boner is fighting my right thigh for legroom like my pants were the Gaza Strip.



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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

LOL! TO MUCH SUGAR I GESS!! LOL!!!



I found this one as a black and white page that was just part of a whole story that was at least one page too long. I then added the color and the text myself because that's what I wish this was actually about.
But it's not. It's really about something far, far worse.



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Sunday, March 1, 2009

Double Hemipened

According to Wikipedia:

"Although a wide range of reproductive modes are used by snakes; all snakes employ internal fertilization, accomplished by means of paired, forked hemipenes, which are stored inverted in the male's tail. The hemipenes are often grooved, hooked, or spined in order to grip the walls of the female's cloaca."

That's cool. Except they forgot about the part where this happens:





Which sucks big time because I love it when that happens.





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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

May the Dear Lord Bless You



That's sort of what I was asking for... though I suddenly regret asking for it. In fact, looking at this picture now, I regret a lot of things: being born with eyes, owning a computer, dogs, staying up past my bedtime, birthdays... this list goes on...





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Monday, February 23, 2009

Needs More Tits

Photobucket

Really, if you're already shooting past the average human number of tits (two, typically) on your sword massaging she-goat, why not just go crazy? Why not 8 or 16? Or, fuck, how about 9 just going around in a circle or stacked like a pyramid? That would be awesome!

Or maybe you're only trying to match your two sets of milkers to the two different sets of horns on her head (one for ramming small animals, one for... chains..?). In which case just ignore me. Carry on.





Wait, wait. No. Fuck all that noise! I want more titties, hot dammit!!!!




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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

We do everything on porpoise!

If Brad Pitt were a dolphin, and still went on to meet, fall in love, and have biological babies with Angelina Jolie, this is what it would look like:



Fuckin' beautiful. Just breathtaking. Look at you laying there, you gorgeous dolphin man. Half bottlenose dolphin, half bottle-cocked human, all 100% sexy!

Did you ever see the videos of dolphins playing with bubble rings?

Think about that, then think about this guy...

Now think about baseball or something and get back to work before you get yourself in trouble.



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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Truth!

furry-pot_a.jpg picture by brwats

You know what's hot? When your little bikini top is too small for your round, juicy, furry boobies. You know what's not hot though? Smoking.
I had a boner to the moon until I saw that "cancer stick" hanging out of that pouty little mouth of hers. Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe it's a doobie, in which case: Awesome!
Sometimes I like to get totally lit and rub my cat's tail all over my face. I close my eyes and pretend it's all fuschia and shiny and protruding out of a tight furry butt, just for me.
So here, I fixed it for you:

furry-pot.jpg picture by brwats

Kids, don't smoke cigarettes. Just blunts.

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